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I don'tknow why... but I wanted to... I needed to feel what I felt when Jodypushed down those stairs in a dress... I mean, I wanted to feelsexually humiliated again... I mean, that was a pivotal moment, forsure... but now, many years later, lying on the beach at Fort Tilden,working on my suntan in a little black string bikini, thinking back tohow it all started... I don't really believe that moment made me who Iam today... no, I think there is something inside us too, that makes uswho we are... and I can't help but think that even then, as a littleboy, there was something in me that wanted to be erased, ruined anddestroyed... made to act like a girl... and be treated like a girl...call it a masochistic bent or something else... call it whatever youwant... but it only got worse with adolescence. That's when I reallystarted dressing up a lot--in secret--whenever my parents went out,whenever I was alone in the house, I would put on lingerie and lipstickand masturbate in the mirror.... ‘Okay.’ ‘You WILL tell me if anyone walks up, right?’ ‘Of course.’ I don’t know how far she believed that, but I meant it honestly. She was still a little hesitant, so I followed a moment later with, ‘Come on, baby, cum for me.’ She had another glance around the room behind her, and then picked up her napkin. Her hand went below the table and her hips slid forward. She was nervous, but excited. As I gawked I said, ‘It’s too bad I can’t get a look under the table.’ ‘Yeah, too bad.’ She wasn’t very talkative now, which was a good sign. I knew her pretty legs were spread and her hand was up her skirt. Probably by now it was inside her panties, but this time I couldn’t watch the intimate details, only her face. She began to relax, then began to get into it. She glanced around furtively a couple more times, but she was obviously enjoying herself. Pretty soon her eyes closed, then her full breasts began to sway slightly as she moved. I rubbed myself through my pants, enjoying the show and.
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